Fifty Dates of Grey? A Manifesto

 “I might be headed towards fifty dates of grey, oppressive as the winter skies of London.  Yet I have to dream that on one of these dates, the sun will start to peak through the clouds of this dark metropolis.”

I am an  artist,  an unconventional woman, I came to London, hoping to find unconventional spaces, unconventional people, and an unconventional man, to live an unconventional life with.  So what is happening?  What is happening  to the dream?   Well, this is my story.

Are we Hung Up on Tinder Culture?

It seems like we’re all getting hung up on the objects, not that bodies are a bad thing.  Bodies are a significant part of how subjects connect to each other.  There’s a German word for touch… berührung…which also means you’re touching someone on the inside.   I meant the commodified bodies, each of us trying our best to conform to certain standards so that we can be bought and sold in a matrix of value and privilege.  Partnering up isn’t seen as a connection between souls but a bargain between the livestock on Boris’s farm. The matrix was set up according to whose standards?  Why?  No one is thinking of that.  We are just trying to survive.  We’re all getting so hung up on pushing our skins outward from the flesh to fit the torturing approximations of the grid, some of us cravenly trying to save a piece of our souls at a very great cost.  It is nearly impossible to imagine building a bridge between souls, and  it is so easy to burn one!


Your Body is A Battleground, Barbara Kruger, 1989

So I display here my very humble attempts at bridge building, while admitting that I, too, get hung up on the object.  I have hopes of surviving the matrix, holding on to my soul and my skin during the same moment.

The Loveflutter connection

I was intrigued when  a new dating app, Loveflutter approached me with this idea early in 2014.  Meshing the world of art, politics, and dating seemed a timely proposition, given the cultural effects of the more superficial approach encouraged by apps like Tinder. But I had my concerns, was this just a cheap stunt to blacken Tinder’s name from an upstart competitor? I was assured my views would remain independent and under my complete editorial control.  I felt inspired by their wider vision of using this project as a research tool to shape Loveflutter into a dating app fit for the present moment.

Fifty Dates of Grey?

Some people say Tinder is exclusively a hook up app, a tool purely for the dehumanizing exchange of bodies as objects. The optimist in me gravitates towards its potential to engineer the intersection between an incredible diversity of people and social contexts.  Really, I don’t know what kind of disaster my desire to connect with people will plunge me into.  I might be headed towards fifty dates of grey, oppressive as the winter skies of London.  Yet I have to dream that on one of these dates, the sun will start to peak through the clouds of this dark metropolis.
So again, I present to you my humble attempts at building bridges.   My communiques from the love wilderness of this turbocapitalist darkness will arrive in the language of reality tv, a vlog.  I will record pre-date, post -first impression (mid date), and post-date (denouement), hoping that maybe, someone will hear the sincerity, the urgency, in my voice.

You can follow the Unconventional Woman on twitter @LeUnconventionl

Want to follow the dates in chronological order? Start at Date #1

2 thoughts on “Fifty Dates of Grey? A Manifesto

  1. Pingback: The Unconventional Woman on The Unconventional Woman | Just Gushing

  2. Pingback: Blog Lieblinge #10: Zwischenmenschliches

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